It won’t matter what I’ll do

Just as long as I’m doing.

It doesn’t matter that it wasn’t for you

It won’t matter that it may not be you then too

Just as long as no one is fooling.

It doesn’t matter, that dark mind of yours.

It won’t matter if you find the light.

Just as long as your not doing.

the platform strides around you

bombareded by the idea of going up

though your compilation brings you down

inch left or right and your still here

inch backwards and forwards, your stuck in the dimension of time

leap and you will be somewhere new

jump and you will land on never

fighting to take an unworthy stand

locked and loaded, bullet ready for travel

taking over a time that has no right to be yours

corrupting a world that didn’t see you

that had no need to meet your existance

living and believing within their own historic tribe

closer to a god than you’ll ever be

keep fighting, kill a man you’ll never meet

saying god is whats making you commit

by killing a prophet, you don’t become one

still a murderer, no matter who you slain

I thought I would put out a few of the thingies I have written. Its not poetry really, mostly just statements. My life goal is to be able to put these statements and words into music…and I still intend on doing so. But until then, heres some me…

I don’t want to change how I feel because I love the never ending battle with myself. I like having my inner punches thrown back at me; its possibly the only reason I will wake up tomorrow.

If I could only trust myself to be capable of thinking, of doing, of becoming. What I hide is large. What I show is real; but real only so it can be understood. What you know is me; and the reasons I’m here; what you don’t know is in me, and the reason I’m still not there.

I fall asleep with a question and wake up with an answer; dreams are haunted, dreamed are horrid, dreams are beautiful, dreams are you. A human complex of cellular perfections; establishing collectives to beyond your own self.

There is a ball of anxiety pushing out of my gut. Shedding my skin would be nice, rather than having to rip it off. I can’t stop, not even to down and rest. Flying thoughts and ideas that carry dark and morbid emotion.

Justify your life;

the wrongs you’ve made

the poeple you hurt

the rights you fade.

Massivify you dark

followers will follow;

behind you they decay

your strength becomes hollow.

Populize your beliefs

scare them all to hear

because if they are scared they never know

all the true evils they should fear.

Neutralize your formulas,

backing out when all is dark

The shit you pulled is inhumane,

never thinking you’d meet your mark.

Justify your worth

forgive your evil foes

take your worth and remind yourself

of those things you humbly know.

This world is no place for us

The Yankee life can’t keep up safe.

When you cut your arms and burn your wrists

Searching for something clean of this mist.

To bleed is to remember what it is like to be sane;

Ending the hurt, ending the angry, ending the pain.

Pretend for a moment you really know how I feel;

And then have the balls to say its not real.

If you can’t handle the world, I understand why you go.

The guilt I feel of hurting others is why I still show;

Up in this world, hurting for years.

Hurting 20 more? It won’t happen, but its my greatest fear.

How can one continue knowing that the world is fucked?

How is this only my problem?

Because my ‘god’, I feel so stuck.

Today reminds me of a day that I could’ve chosen to smile; help you conquer just one mile.

I could have aided you to become the man you want to be; the man who wants to be with me.

You can’t ignore the hate in their lies

Their wold makes you so terrified.

In a daze…

you visualize then memorize the size of those who are satisfied…and then you realize

When you awake you double take to see the fake of all who make our world and break you down.

You see the ache and try to take this world into your own hands….

and end up living spending a life time for your own wake;

while they live for their own sake.

Everything I see today reminds me of a dream I had last night.

Places that don’t exist, times that never were, shed no difference from what I know and what I thought was sure.

My name is Jessica and I’m a 25 year old female living Burlington, Ontario Canada.  My live is currently a little boring but I often still have a lot to say.  I’m not too sure what I want from this blog idea – but as I said, I have a lot to say and maybe someone has a lot of time on their hands…enough time to read my blog.

I will give all/any of the readers a warning that I am extremely sarcastic and usually am harmless.  I understand everyone has the right to their own thoughts and ideas and I welcome hearing it all and enjoy the good discussions that leave you panicking at the end.

It took me a month to get this thing activated, and will most likely take me some time before I write something new – but I promise it will be more interesting than this one.